addictability

one can slam
almost any words together

too many and they become

Schlangewörter

some things
encourage addiction
more than others

i've been in blogland
most of the day

Rescue

years ago
I learned to swim
under water

that was great fun
long as I didn't go deeper
than I could stand

one time
I did

it was not clear
where the bottom was
or, for that matter, the top

it was -
interesting

the lifeguard came
and pulled me out

I sat on the shore
shivering
in my towel

sometimes
I remember
that rescue

Grip

Citizen Kane
lost it
in the end
at the start
which we find
was the loss
from an angry father
it seems

and it rolled
and it broke
the little snowscene
which is all that was left
of his sister, her name
(not his sled)
on his lips
as he died

Fambily Note

Dear Fambily,

Since here has become
So poetically inclined
You can find what used to be here
Over there

See the 'Profile'?
That's the place
to look
for 'just us'

And that's what it is:
just us

Where You Are

sometimes, I cannot be
where you are
it is too far

we sit together
but our minds range,
oh, orthogonally

it's alright though -
at least we know
where the other is

Sketch Q93.067

fighting the monday significance fear
where does it live?

the sky is red, perhaps it will rain
not perhaps, my friend

flowers and leaves brown at the cold window
the clock keeps ticking

city freeway traffic report on the switched-off radio
salvation plastered across a billboard

Data Dump 20060326

revised data dump

what to do in this life and today i pour it out like this i like violin getting organized writing poetry doing research and playing guitar but it seems small while others build something with value. takes focus i'm sure and where does that come from besides deciding what to not do. i eat oatmeal and drink tea swim and shoot baskets or play raquetball with care for the knees and most days i check Dilbert. some people are much wiser and say less, think more, choose well, act considerately, are reliable, trustworthy, honest, prepared, and have straight teeth. all of this takes attention and of course time but mainly attention and ability to stay with something more than two minutes. this year an organization effort paid off for a while but the maintainence has slipped and here is a saturday and the choice is to reflect and write while the tea gets cold. somewhere my dad has written life adventures and someday i will read them, and somewhere my son is resting. ben franklin's autobiography is chocked full of advice for his son who had no interest, it goes like that. i wanted oh so badly to be a musician on the stage but chose instead chemistry which is full of problem solving and can be fun but when it becomes work is definitely work and it's not so easy to get it right. you see from the lab coat and safety glasses what this has led to, with the smile that thinks about being on stage. with chemistry came a focus on medicine and a selection of school and hours in the lab with a squirrel in my pocket, yes, a squirrel found quite young on the sidewalk, raised on a bottle, my companion and would sit on my shoulder, rarely bit, climbed up the curtains and had no clue what to do on a tree which was pretty sad the day a dog got it and reason enough to not repeat the experiment. life in the lab held instruments and computers and making them go and these years later much the same and my hair turned gray in grad school but that's genetic. yes graduate school because i liked solving problems, i also like plato's cave and wonder what's ahead. i've read the bible through and studied, schooled and golden ruled, argued and led and won but you know it all comes down to being desperately in need. i've asked for fixing and laid it all down and offered it up, admitted, committed, done groups and paid sessions, and journaled confessions, regretted regressions and forgotten concessions. i've spent hours learning to talk to machines and errors are frequent but found pretty quickly while people simply stop listening.

Data Dump

what to do in this life what to do and today i pour it out like this i like violin and getting organized and writing poetry and doing research and playing guitar but it really seems small and empty while others do a wonderfully focused job of building something with value and it takes focus i'm sure and where does that come from besides deciding what to not do. i eat my oatmeal and drink my tea and take my medicine and swim and even shoot baskets sometimes or play raquetball with care for the knees and other times exercise machines in a room of mirrors TVs and other exercisers. most days i check Dilbert because it is funny and often feels like the author must know somebody at my work he is so good at that. i like this writing but i don't know why. some people are much wiser and say less, think more, choose well, act considerately, are reliable, trustworthy, honest, prepared, and have straight teeth. they've learned, read, watched, known about, and in many cases, have been and done. all of this takes attention and of course time but mainly attention and ability to stay with something more than two minutes. this year so far an organization effort paid off for a while but the maintainence has slipped as it will and here is a saturday and the choice is to reflect and write while the tea gets cold. somewhere my dad has been writing out life adventures and i'm sure someday i will read them. and somewhere my son is resting. ben franklin wrote an autobiography chocked full with advice for his son who had no interest, it seems to go like that. i went to school like many and wanted oh so badly to be a musician on the stage but chose instead chemistry which is an acquired taste and full of problem solving which can be fun but when it becomes work is definitely work and it's not so easy to get things to actually work a lot of times. you can see from the lab coat and safety glasses what this has led to, with the smile that still thinks about being on stage. with chemistry came a focus on medicine and then a selection of school and hours in the lab sometimes with a squirrel in my pocket, yes, a squirrel found quite young on the sidewalk and raised on a bottle, my companion and would sit on my shoulder, rarely bit, liked to climb up the curtains and had no clue what to do on a tree which was pretty sad and one day a dog got it which is reason enough to not repeat the experiment although still hard to imagine leaving it as first found. life in the lab held instruments and computers and making them go and these years later have seen much of the same and my hair turned gray in graduate school but that's genetic. yes graduate school because i liked solving problems and am in awe of people like richard feynman who open up the nanoworld to the rest of us on the planet. i also like plato's cave and wonder about what's ahead. i've read the bible all through and studied and schooled and golden ruled and attempted to argue and lead and win by example but you know it comes down to being desperately in need. and i've asked for fixing and laid it all down and offered it up, admitted, committed, and all the rest, through groups and paid sessions, and journaled confessions, regretted regressions and frequent concessions. with many words comes many errors, i've spent hours learning to talk to machines and errors are more frequent but at least you find out pretty quickly (most of the time). people sometimes simply stop listening.

Face Value

The Face
has appeared
internationally
but only
on this planet

Simple Prayer

just take me
like i am

More Garbage

"if you've seen it once
you've seen it for always"

the words ring
like a curse

how will they eat
if i lose my way

The Weak End

I felt only
that the others
did it better

A Cleaner Flow

traces des pensées
que je ne me tiens plus
ils sont dans les ordures

ils étaient ici
pour tous à voir

une révélation
je suppose

la vie est si courte

* * *

traces of thoughts
i'd rather not hold
they're in the trash now

they were here
held up for display

some kind of disclosure
i guess

life flows by
so quickly

The Reason Why

unwritten rules
seldom spoken
never heard

First Quarter Update

creeping like a frightened rat
along the cold damp edge
of some rotted old farm shed

a pile of miscellaneous treasure
by his bed, books unread
music that may never see
the light of day

poems reduced to bits
and bites of words
heard by a few

time spent, all of it
a hunger for pulling off
something really impressive

or failing that
to learn
the hard way

Broken Blogger Blues (for Pat's Muse)

(Background for this is Pat Paulk's recent "Wait Staff" - about server problems)

This mornin' for breakfast
I chawed de mornin' [error]
This mornin' for breakfast
Chawed de mornin' [error]
But this evenin' for supper
I got evenin' [error] to spare

(adapted from "Evenin' Air Blues" by Langston Hughes)

I've tweaked this several times ("err'r" instead of the original "air" was the first attempt, then just "err", then "server" instead of "mornin'" and "evenin'") but have decided that it's simply a good example of unskilled adaptation. Pat's poetry is pretty good though, and as far as I know his server is working again...

On Doit Choisir

Il n'y a pas beaucoup de choix ici
parse que j'ai soulement cent (ou deux cents) mots
mais quelques jours
je dis moins de cinquante

* * *

One Must Choose

There isn't a lot of choice here
because I only have a hundred (or two hundred) words
but some days
I say less than fifty

The Meaning of Goodbye

two brave young boys

in the front row

beside strong, caring dad

holding hands and saying goodbye

to her

such a thing

for them to learn

the meaning of goodbye

(goodbye, Kristy)

Asleep at the Mouse

overtime gaze
screenwise nod
mouse nap

Haiku Malpractice

think hard and long
wonder about impact
look for comments

take the afternoon off
read hemingway
(become an errand target)

read about a false friend
feel somehow guilty
ashamed of pretense

write it down
publish
regretful lack of skill

calm down
it's all right
try again - later

Moon Distance

full moon tonight

travel here

by cloud

* * *

an improvement
offered by aa -

full moon
tonight...
cloud travel

* * *

Snow Day

what a lovely day
when the snow comes
an unplanned vacation

spent the morning
resting, reading,
thinking, and writing

fetched Chaucer from the shelf*
and dove into
Troilus and Cressida

reading by the fire
a love story from 1380 or so
albeit in modern English

(with middle English in ye middle)**

such a confused arrangement
with a go-between
a sure recipe for disaster

demanding rhyming structure
supplications at the start of each section
to keep the poem going

i don't blame him
or the translators
who pulled it off

tomorrow, it's back to work
but better rested
and the richer for having read


*see Aurora Antonovic's inspiring post on spending time at the bookstore
**here of course i would love to have been able to say it in middle English
***this footnote is going nowhere, and is just for show

Heavy Snow

I know next to nothing about proper haiku. Today there is snow so heavy that several arborvitae in the yard are bent over to the ground. Will try:

wet flakes floating down
growing thick on slender branch
small tree leaning over

my wife has taught some poetry and recommended changing the last line, especially since the trees are in fact about 10-12 feet tall. Again:

wet flakes floating down
growing thick on evergreens
trees bent to the ground

something about the 'wet flakes' and 'floating down' doesn't seem right. How about this:

heavy snow in spring
grow thick on evergreens
trees bent to the ground

like listening to someone learn violin, this must seem dreadful to those who know better. Your comments/advice welcome.

Et Maintenant, Le Lingala

oui,
my wife would visit
Africa

with sewing machines
and friendships
in the jungle

there is a history
of connections
and disconnections

one must take care
study, prepare
for a few words there

in Lingala,
mbote! and ndenge nini?
are hi and how are you

i found more Lingala
though noted in French
so much thirst, so little quench

i do not know
how it will go
but i can only hope

that cars and planes
and river lanes
will run, and not need rope

and lights will light
and no one fight
or in the darkness grope

that flies won't bite
or caterpillars squirm
in food, and may she cope

with smiles and nods
and looks inquiring
and find it in the end inspiring

while i each day
when she is away
will mumble Lingala, or French, or just pray.

Just Some Guy

i'm just
some guy
on the web
that's all

there are lines
in my hands
that i can't read
maybe you can

there's a book
by my bed
with some letters
in red

it says
somebody
loved so much
that they gave:

monogenes
(it's greek to me)
for whoever
believes...

forgiving
loving
hoping
believing

these all tend to get stripped away
by the bad breath
of daily life

must brush
and floss
daily

just some guy
on the internet
that's all

much of the world
goes to bed
hungry

while we
spend time
on the web

guilty as charged

some guy
on the internet

Better Left Unsaid

eager inhalation
diaphragm compression
and out it comes

the flow of words

it's amazing, really,
how much damage
can be done

by a few words

hoping to impress
or win favor
or otherwise mislead

often does quite the opposite

sorry,
just thinking out loud -
or doubting, rather.

have you ever read
the first few chapters
of Descartes' Meditations?

he had a lot of time
to think
and deliberately doubt

everything

i don't know many people
personally
who have that kind of time

but it's interesting reading -
i listened to my daughter read it
for her philosophy class

i was simply happy
to be there listening
and talking about it

her computer needed repair
so i was there
waiting for more help to arrive

i'm more careful what i say
since i don't know - really -
how many chances i'll have

this is getting long
and it's late
but please know

that i was thinking of you

Crack of the Bat

over the fence
and into the lights
the final home run

Kirby Puckett
a Twin unlike any other
rest well

A Noisy Rehearsal

into the warehouse
of what was manufacture,
now workshop of rock gods

behind locked doors
the sound cannot help
but be heard

we arrive from the day
and adjust the lights
to reds, blues, amber and green

the tuning, the list,
the listening, the question
of who will sing, and which part

once through, and again,
and on to the next
some are ok, some need repair

at 9, we consider
to stop, but one more
and then it happened

such sound from next door, like no walls at all
we imagine their faces to be melted cheese
and how will they manage to walk down the hall?

we send over a volley of electric guitar
answered with volumes of smoke on water
for a minute or so

and then silence
we laugh, and yell over
'you win!'

in the parking lot
talk about work
and friendly goodbyes

i feel quite certain
the sound is still there
through much of the night

Morning Tea

almost every day
she makes the tea
and i squint-eyed shuffle
into the kitchen

she is reading
somewhere
and the shower is running
for one of the girls

the track-lights shine
unevenly
and i settle into the chair
almost every day

and you are there
virtually
and we share a few thoughts
one side at a time

the sky out the window
may be foggy, like today
or cloudless, or still dark
the sky goes very high

here on the ground
there is all manner of living
and dying, and losing,
and finding, and keeping

and after all
i've said
nothing
much as i would

Down Time

push push push
shove shove shove
grit grit grit

how how how
can can can
this this this

keep keep keep
up up up
? ? ?

must must must
not not not
stop stop stop

go go go
on on on
on on on

why why why
write write write
more more more

draw draw draw
some some some
lines lines lines

/ / /
+ + +
- - -

have have have
to to to
quit quit quit

soon soon soon
or or or
break break break

thanks thanks thanks
for for for
asking asking asking

how how how
are are are
you you you

??? ??? ???
??? ??? ???
??? ??? ???

Flutter, Splutter, and Avoid the Butter

turning to the pool resource
i finally ask for help
on a basic thing

learning to crawl
without drowning
or running out of steam

inhale on each stroke
then blow bubbles
clear it all out

then kick alone
thrashing, but no motion
"oh for a camera" my daughter said

easier on the back
though still some coughing
"keep the knees underwater"

breathe, kick, glide
arms sweeping wide
this one goes the best

tired but unashamed
at last taking the plunge
to make like a fish

Clothing Time

time

to go out into the world

to turn the lights on

to finish up

and not stay here

The Fade

"day is done
gone the sun
from the lakes
from the hills
from the sky..."

who can know
the mind of a soldier
once the damage

is done

refocus

lovely snow today
i'd show you if i could
the mud is all covered

the blog takes time
too much some days
with uncertain gain

i would play along
if i knew some of the tunes
of the poet maestros

they are pretty good
every day it seems,
masters at reasoned rhyme

and there are those
with pain disclosed
with wounds that need to heal

i'll silent be
except for here
or when i simply feel

the need

Brooding

presenting:

the brooding list

job
finances
weight
health
children
education(s)
weddings(?)
parents(hi there)
house
mind

don't mind me, please

when in the course
of human events
it becomes necessary
for one people

to brood,

i go to my desk
in the cold basement
and write declarations
of dissolving and assuming

but today:

i received a brooding lamp
from the resident chick
who keeps me warm

it hangs over the keyboard
to warm my fingers
while i type

and for my feet
a ceramic heater
it also dries shoes

she doesn't mind
being called 'chick'
as long as it's clear
what i mean

she looks
quite good
to me

i think i will leave
the brooding
til later

Cleverless

sitting
like usual
the comforting keys
and colored glow

a dayload
of half-thoughts
in tattered piles
needs sorting

it will have to wait

i look for you
and you are there
or were
and said
or wrote

but i have cleverless words
of promises i must keep
and piles to go before i sleep
lovely, dark, and softly deep

Hesitation

pity the fool
who puts foot forward
pulls it back
turns
starts again
only to stop

a simple thank you
is preferred
over a foolish display
followed by apology

more simple advice:
when another is on stage
listen,
appreciate, and
keep your harmonica
in your pocket

The Open Gate

somehow i left it open
distracted
like so many times before

Anticipation

"is keeping me waiting" CSimon

indeed

tonight,
we rehearse

this:

"...don't push, don't shove,
we don't need no help
fallin' in and out of love"

it's by
Mikanic*

recorded in
cape town

there's a violin solo
in the middle

i like it.

a lot.

*you can listen:
"Don't Push"